Brock Vodden brought forth a complaint from a Citizen about cats leaving excrement on their lawn. Councilor Knott questioned whether it was indeed cats, as cats normally bury their solid waste. They spent over 10 minutes discussing this critical issue. It will be interesting to see if council will spend as much time debating clearing our sidewalks this winter.
Now, here is where it gets really bizarre. If you are an animal lover and have blood pressure issues, you should probably stop reading right now and go watch some funny kitten videos on YouTube.
There is a video below to verify the following, since you will have a hard time believing it.
First let’s assume Vodden and the Complainant are correct and cats are responsible, I know it’s highly unlikely.
Vodden wants town staff to do a report on the viability of his cat eradication program. Spoiler alert, they are moving forward.
Brock Vodden wants taxpayers to fund an education campaign directed at cat owners. Cat owners are supposed to contain their cats to their own property. Since it is virtually impossible to fence a property to keep a cat in, cat owners are going to have to sit down and have a stern talk with their cats about where the property lines are, and which flower beds are ok to crap in. Note: Most people prefer a cat turd in the flower bed over a mouse in the house.
Cats can roam a kilometer or two a night while feasting on rodents. Remember, these are rodents that make most people scream if they make it into their home. If cats continue to do this public service, Vodden wants the taxpayers to pay to capture them. There’s gratitude for killing a few rodents a day!
So what happens after Brock Vodden puts your cat in “pet jail” for eating neighborhood mice? Actually, it is not “pet jail” it is death row! Vodden wants you to pay a massive fine to save your cat’s life! If you don’t have the money and/or take more than 3 days to bail out your cat, it will be murdered by the State at the taxpayers expense.
Happy birthday Billy, you don’t get any presents this year because we spent all our money getting Snowball off death row for stealing a small rodent from the wrong side of the hedge. It was either a new bike and a dead cat, or saving Snowball’s life.
It is not known if Brock Vodden has called “dibs” on killing the cats personally. I wonder if he would use costly lethal injections or a cost effective brick if he was granted this role.
Tell your cat not to leave the backyard, its life may depend on it in the near future.
Here is Brock Vodden’s email address. [email protected] Please feel free to contact him and let him know exactly how you feel.
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